I am really nervous. I don't know what to live for. That doesn't mean I want to die, I just don't know what to live for or focus on. It is freaking me out. I feel uncomfortable and anxious. I want this feeling to go away. Life makes me nervous.

Lost in a World Without Answers

Oftentimes, I sit and just ponder. I think about why this is that way, why that is this way. I try to put meaning behind everything. After awhile, it feels, frankly, like overkill. I try and try to put method behind madness, when in reality, I don't believe method exists. I over contemplate everything. I guess it's my way of giving myself comfort. The realization that there is no "reason" behind matters is disconcerting. I long for reason. I long for answers. Which brings me to where I am now: caught between choosing to continue to invent reason for myself or to accept the harsh reality that we are in a world without it. Where do I go from here?